All I Have Lost
by ilovequinn11
Summary: Quinn has lost so much in the past two years. Will she continue driving her life into the ground?
1. Chapter 1

When Quinn walked into the classroom and saw Shelby standing there, she froze. What is that bitch doing here? She wondered. She already took my daughter from me. Is she just coming back to Lima to flaunt it in my face? Quinn had regretted giving Beth up over the past year. She wished she could go back in time and change it, but she couldn't. And now she had to face the consequences.

"I can't do this," Quinn said, turning around and attempting to walk back out the door, but she couldn't. Puck blocked her.

"Just listen to what she has to say," he told her. And so she did.

She listened to Shelby, all right, and Shelby basically flaunted in Quinn's face that she had Quinn's baby, going on and on about how she had come back to Lima to teach at McKinley High School because when her and Beth lived in New York City, she had to work long hours and had missed some of Beth's milestones. Imagine never being able to see her accomplish milestones, bitch! Quinn thought, but she didn't say anything. She just stood there like the good little girl she had always been while she listened to Shelby talk, even though the tattoo, nose ring, short pink hair, and black leather clothes indicated otherwise. Finally, when Shelby finished talking, Quinn gave Shelby a piece of her mind before she turned and ran out the door.

Quinn ran out the front door, even though there was still three hours left in the school day. Screw school, she thought. She ran under the bleachers, collapsing on the couch she had bribed Coach Sylvester to put underneath them. She, however, didn't cry. She had used up all her tears in the last two years.

Instead, she took out a cigarette, lighting it and putting it in her mouth. She let out a cloud of smoke from her mouth, watching the Cheerios practice. Santana was launched into the air by a group of girls and executed a perfect toe touch before falling down, her ponytail swinging through the air, her red and white practice skirt riding up her hips as the bases caught her and set her on the ground, and she raised her arms into a V formation.

That used to be me, Quinn thought. I used to be beautiful and carefree like that. I could go back to that feeling.

However, Quinn knew too much shit had happened to her in the past two years for life to ever go back to the way it was. Even when Quinn had gone back to the Celibacy Club, began dating the hottest guy in school, and became captain of the Cheerios again, she still hadn't felt like she always used to when she was lifted to the top of the pyramid. She thought back on the past two years in her head.

_Quinn walked onto the football field, back in her rightful spot of the school HBIC. She was wearing her red and white Cheerios uniform, her hair pulled back into its rightful ponytail. She literally had the whole world at her fingertips, and that gave her satisfaction. She felt slightly bad about having to throw Santana under the bus to get it all back, but oh well. She deserved it, didn't she? And Santana and Brittany adored her, always following her, listening to what she said, and doing what she did, even if they didn't want to. She knew it was only a matter of time before Santana came crawling back to her._

_Quinn stretched and warmed up like always, and when Coach Sylvester came out of her office, Quinn gave the signal to the rest of the girls, indicating to them that it was time to run laps around the football field._

_Finally, Coach Sylvester came out, and she began to teach them a routine. Well, actually, it was really Quinn teaching them it, since Coach Sylvester had taught it to her yesterday, and one of her duties as captain was to teach the routines to the rest of the girls._

_"Alright," Quinn said. "Let's start practicing it!"_

_"The first twenty girls to mess up, ask for a break, complain, or faint of heat exhaustion are off the team," Coach Sylvester bellowed through her megaphone._

_In a part of the routine, Santana and Brittany lifted Quinn into the air for a pyramid. They each grabbed one of her feet, and lifted her up. Once she was balanced, she placed her feet on their inner thighs, so they could let go. She lifted her arms into a V position over her head, enjoying the feeling of her hair rustling slightly in the wind; and the football team all watching her, hoping to see under her skirt, as Coach Beiste yelled at them for slacking off. But she didn't get quite the same feeling as she had always had._

Quinn desperately wanted to see Beth, to see her baby girl, but she was too stubborn. Shelby had told her that if she wanted to be a part of Beth's life she would have to clean up her act, and she was a legal adult now; she refused to follow orders from anyone. So she kept hanging out with The Skanks and screwing around, scarring the stupid little freshmen for life. Because while before she had gotten pregnant she had tortured everyone else, even the upperclassmen, besides taunting them, she had given the orders; slushie Man Hands, toss Gay Kid in the dumpster outside the school. What she was doing now was taking it to a whole nother level.

One day, however, Quinn's resistance to adult authority shattered on the floor in front of her, and she headed to Shelby's classroom, where she coached her Glee Club. However, the only member she had yet been able to recruit had been Sugar Motta, a spoiled little rich brat who couldn't even sing. Sugar headed out of the classroom, her tiny little ass shaking as she walked. Quinn envied Sugar, although secretly. Sugar had everything Quinn wanted. She was skinny, and Quinn had never been able to fully go back to her pre-pregnancy weight, and Sugar was rich. While Quinn used to have been rich too, her parents got divorced, and her father got most of the money, since he had earned it, as her mother had never had to lift a finger before the divorce. Now, Quinn and Judy lived in a small, comfortable, charming, rustic townhouse, and Judy, having to hold down three jobs just to make ends meet, was barely around, so Quinn was forced to fend for herself.

"She's hopeless," Quinn said as she approached the piano, where Shelby was sitting, but she was not playing. Instead, she was going through a stack of papers that was resting on it.

"Oh, Quinn, nobody's hopeless," Shelby replied, giving a sympathetic look to the broken girl standing in front of her.

She then proceeded to give Quinn a long pep talk about how Shelby had lost herself the same way Quinn had after she gave up Rachel for adoption. And while Quinn smiled her first genuine smile in the past two years, this wasn't what she had come for, and she refused to be pitied anymore, to be forced to play the victim. "Can I see her?" Quinn asked. "I know Puck got to."

Shelby gave Quinn her sympathetic look once more. "I'm sorry, Quinn, but not yet."

"Can I at least see a picture?"

Shelby took her cell phone out from her purse, and, flipping it open, showed it to Quinn. There was a picture of Puck and Beth as Shelby's screen saver.

Quinn sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that were pricking her eyes. She turned and ran out the door, to her car, and all the way home.

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	2. Chapter 2

Quinn eventually came back to Glee. Of course, first she cleaned up her act. Not so she could get back in Glee- she could get in regardless- but so she could get closer to Beth. She dyed her hair blond again, and put on a white dress. "I'm proud of you," Puck told her as she took her spot next to him at Booty Camp.

Her eyes flickered as she turned to him, looking him up and down. "We're going to get full custody of Beth back," she told him, turning so she wouldn't see the disapproving look on his face, so she could convince herself that he'd be backing up her 100%.

Quinn needed time to think up a game plan, however. She would sit in her room night after night with a notebook and pen, writing down ideas to prove Shelby an unfit mother and get her daughter back; none of the plans, however, seemed like a good fit. But a week later, she came up with the perfect idea, and managed to convince Puck to help her, too.

"Hello, Shelby." She smiled her warmest smile as her and Puck wove their way through the staff room, all the way to where Shelby was sitting all alone, sipping her morning coffee.

"Why, hello, Quinn, Puck." Shelby smiled at the two of them.

"Here you go." Quinn handed Shelby a tube of some kind of paste. "This will help you cover up those bags you have."

"Excuse me?"

"You have bags under your eyes. It's no wonder, you have a full time job, and you're a single parent. You barely know your name."

"Well…"

"What we think you need is some time, you know, some time to think about something under than milestones, harmonies, and when the bills need to be paid. Let us baby sit Beth for a night while you go out."

"I'm sorry, but have the two of you ever babysat before?"

"Of course. Two years ago we babysat these horrible triplets, and they were practically purring by the end of the night. You can even ask Mr. Schue."

Shelby smiled. "Well, that would be kind of nice. I guess I'll take you up on your offer."

"…and the emergency numbers are taped to the fridge," Shelby explained as she ran around, grabbing everything she needed.

"Alright." Beth started crying. Quinn picked her up and cradled her close to her chest, whispering "shh" to the toddler.

"And…"

"Don't worry, we'll be fine," Quinn said.

"Alright," Shelby shouted over the crying as she made her way to the door. "She likes to play the Itsy Bitsy Spider, remember, the Itsy Bitsy Spider."

"Uh huh." Quinn nodded as Shelby rushed out the door. "Here you go," she said as she quickly passed Beth off to Puck, and she instantly stopped crying. Quinn rolled her eyes. Can nothing go my way? She thought. She got up, grabbing her bag, and headed into the kitchen.

"Woah, what are you doing?" Puck asked, as he pulled himself off the floor and followed Quinn. "Evidence," Quinn said as she began to rummage through her bag.

"But why are you doing that?" Puck asked. "Shelby's kind of nice."

"Do you want to get our baby back or not?" Quinn snapped. Puck shut up. Quinn took out a bottle of hot sauce, neatly labeled with a piece of tape 'Beth', and put it in the kitchen cupboard. She hurried into the bathroom, taking out a couple of books on human sacrifice, and put them in the cabinet.

"Now what are you doing?" Puck asked, exasperated as Quinn took out her cell phone.

"Now we call Child Services," she said. "Puck, can you get me the phone book?" Quinn asked. He rolled his eyes, but he complied, retrieving the book and handing it to her. She flipped it open, searching until she found it under the C's, listed Child Protective Services. She punched the number into the phone, hit speaker phone, and held it between her and Puck, so they could both hear it.

"Hello, Child Protective Services, how can I help you?" a female answered.

"Hello, I have a case of child abuse here…"

Child Protective Services told Quinn that they were a little backed up but they'd be over as soon as they could, in a week or two, so Quinn sat back patiently, waiting. She acted as nice as she could towards Shelby so she and Puck could see Beth as much as they could. However, Quinn eventually grew impatient of waiting, and demanded from Puck whether he had screwed everything up. He denied it.

Quinn knocked on Shelby's front door. She had a huge present in her arms, wrapped in the most gorgeous paper ever, with a pink bow on top.

The door opened. "Hello?" Shelby said, peeking out. Her face fell as soon as she saw Quinn.

"Hi," Quinn said, shifting from one foot to the other. "Can I come in? I have a present for Beth, and I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by."

"I guess," Shelby said, stepping back so Quinn could come in. "Shh," she warned. "I just got Beth down."

Quinn set the present down; she was just settling in when Shelby came back. "Oh Quinn, the gig's over," she said.

"What do you mean?" Quinn asked, fear building inside of her.

"Oh, I know about the books and the hot sauce," Shelby snapped. "What, did you think they'd just give my baby to you?" Shelby asked.

"You're not her mother, I'm her mother!" Quinn snapped.

"Oh Quinn, it's not about who's body she comes out of. It's about the fact that you don't matter anymore, that your feelings and needs are set aside so the baby can be healthy and happy."

"I did what I thought was right for my baby, you were just a cash whore!" As soon as the words slipped from Quinn's mouth, she instantly regretted it. She had always had a problem controlling what she said and did when she stressed or emotional, which was the reason Beth had been created in the first place.

Shelby steps closer, and Quinn's afraid she's going to be slapped, but she's not slapped with a palm, but instead with words. "I think you should go now," Shelby said, holding the door open. "I don't feel comfortable having you around Beth anymore."

Quinn felt a lump growing in her throat, and she couldn't help the tears rolling down her face. "While Puck still be able to come?" Quinn asked. Shelby didn't answer. "He told you, didn't he?" Shelby still didn't answer. Quinn grabbed the present and stormed off.

Quinn thought and thought when she got home. Her first idea was to shout at Puck, but she had a bigger idea, a better idea, and she needed Puck's help to pull it off.

As they lay there on Quinn's bed, feeling each other up and making out, Puck told Quinn he hadn't brought a condom.

"I don't care about that," Quinn breathed as she continued her devious plan.

"But that's how we made Beth."

"Exactly," Quinn whispered. "If we made one perfect baby, we can make another."

"Wait." Puck shoved Quinn off him. "So that's all this is? You just invited me over here so we could make another baby?"

"Yes."

"No, Quinn! I'm not doing it!"

"Fine then. There are at least twenty other boys at school who will be happy to give me whatever I want."

Puck sighed as he lay back down again.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked. Quinn nodded. "But you've got to promise not to tell anyone."

"I won't," Quinn said.

Puck began talking, and Quinn was instantly disgusted, for he told her that him and Shelby had slept together.

Another plan began to brew in her mind.

Rachel was suspended for fixing the school president election, so that left the Glee Club without a lead singer. Quinn was the best second candidate, so one day about a week away from Sectionals; she came to Quinn at her locker, offering vocal instruction, an offer Quinn was glad to take her up on. "Can I tell you something?" Quinn asked. Rachel nodded.

"I have a problem to get Shelby fired," the blond girl said.

"What?" Rachel asked, shocked. "Why?"

Quinn leaned in. "She's sleeping with Puck," she whispered.

"Quinn, you can't do that!"

"Why?"

"Because if you do, Beth will be taken away from Shelby!"

"I know that."

"But you can't do that, Quinn. Beth loves her mother. You can't just ruin Beth's life. If you take that little girl away from her mother, Quinn, you'll finally have hitten rock bottom."

Quinn thought about it, and knew that Rachel was right. Beth did Shelby, and it would be cruel to ruin that. And besides, did she really want to be tied down with a baby her senior year? She wanted to have fun, and a baby didn't fit in with those plans. Maybe after she had finished college; gotten married; and had a steady job, but not now. And she told Rachel so, and told Rachel that she had decided to apply to Yale. Rachel was happy for her.

Maybe there was a future after Beth.

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